So, it’s been coming for some time..
My oldest child is 19. My youngest child is 11. Did I mention that I have 4 children…? And as humans they are my favourite people on the planet..? I’ve done a stellar job and they are stellar human beings.
To be the stay at home mom for them, I did not take on any other job or schooling. I went pretty quickly into my marriage and was determined at some point to have a family. It was how I thought it was supposed to be. You grow up, get married, have children and all is good. I will be provided for and loved and not have a need or desire in the world other than the presence of my husband and children.
I am craving my life back. MY favourite things to do. MY interests. MY passions. I want back the time and the energy and the finances to be able to do all of that.
I’m tapping out of what was for the last 20 years and stepping into a new idea of how I want it to be. How I envision my life.. AND .. that includes my kids!
HOWEVER… unlike before, I am shaping our living arrangements, our day to day routines, our communication the way ‘I’ want it to be. Not how I thought it should be.
I was SO stuck in the portrait of societal cultures and norms.. the mom game.. who can be more busy.. BLAH!!! At the end of the day it served me NO purpose and ultimately got me lost. So lost I had to find my way back to myself – AFTER a 14 year marriage and 6 year relationship with a narcissist. To my advantage (as I prefer to look at it), that’s 20 years of learning!!
As a mom, I pride myself on being there for my kids. But when I can’t even identify who I am, am I really there for them…? Or is it just the role I play…
I have SO much in my life I want to do still. I’m just starting… I’m brand new at business and while it’s a scary and unknown world for me I absolutely LOVE it!!
I’m making changes. I no longer want to be a stay at home mom. That definition does not describe the entirety of me. Especially now.
I want to be ME.. and it’s exciting to be back!