So, I have made the noise I intended to make in my last blog post which was removed out of the respect I have for someone (anyone) willing to ask for what they need.
Coming back to the topic though – I matter.
You matter too but this is about me. You (whoever you are) are welcome to post about how you feel – and I will applaud you for speaking up!
Here’s the thing: not everyone is going to agree with me – and I still matter.
Not everyone will understand me – and I still matter.
I WILL continue to express the things that hurt me or are relevant to me and if no one hears me or everyone hears me – I still matter.
It would seem that so many struggle with speaking their truth because (GASP!) what will the others think?? At close to 48 years old, I’ve gotten a little sick of that bullshit.
I take heart in knowing that I’m kind and far from malicious. Quite the opposite of malicious in fact.
I expect to be heard as I hear others. I expect to have space to feel and express as I do the same for others.
In addition to that…? I actually don’t need permission to feel as I do. I don’t need justification for any party involved. I also don’t need to come out of this space until I’m ready to.
What I DO need…? ((thank you for asking)) 😉
I need to be heard. So many of us just need to be heard. No comments, no opinions, no comparisons, no making it about anyone else – just attention, eye contact and maybe even an ‘I hear you.’
This is a basic human need. Not just for me – for all.
It may surprise people how something so simple can have such a profound affect. Try it. Watch someone who is boiling over in pain, anger, sadness.. watch them simmer down when you simply give them your attention and hear them.
What NOT to do…?
DON’T make it about you. Don’t make it about your cousin who has it worse. Don’t start talking. Any time you go with this approach you are making it about you. Whether you’re uncomfortable, whether you’re needing your own attention – that’s fine – but you’re not truly hearing someone when you’re making it about you. So check that – notice how you’re feeling and why – and try to come back to practicing your listening skills and high five yourself for making a difference in someones day. While you’re at it – check your gossip as well. A story of someone in pain is not yours to talk about.
Me? After a tough few days, I am feeling like the dam has cracked. And I think that’s a good thing as it allows flow.
I plan to continue speaking how I’m feeling. I see too that I often speak what others will not even though they feel the same way. I like that. It feels good to know I’m not alone.