Got me

I’m not even sure what will come out here.

I’ve been feeling rage and sadness and various emotions in between.

I’ll start with saying I had 2 cervical biopsies on December 4th. Never had a biopsy before – not exactly a fun way to spend time. That being said, I appreciated a surgeon that wanted to know more.

All is well in that they found cervical cancer but so far – non invasive.

Why did I go see a surgeon….? Well, all year I’ve been dealing with various health issues. One of which was a fibroid. You can read more about them here:

My fibroid (Peach) was/is large and affecting my body. I was and am pee’ing ALL the time. My periods have increased in duration and flow. I stress when I’m working out or in public about the trauma I might cause some young child as I leave a bright red trail in my wake. I have regular pain in my pelvis and like many women, I dismiss it as simply something I have to put up with.

Continuing on, there are thyroid issues and iron issues and that ulcer I had in the summer as well hormone issues.

I decided I wanted to see a surgeon regarding this fibroid. I need to do something else as Progesterone wasn’t doing the shrinking it was ‘supposed’ to do. I had to push to see a surgeon – but I finally got to meet dr. Brar. She’s all sorts of wonderful.

I have PAP’s every year.

First thing dr. Brar does is reassure me that the way I look and feel is due to a very large fibroid what resembles me being 4 months pregnant. I am not crazy. Second thing she suggests is that, though she’s a surgeon, surgery isn’t my only option. Fabulous. But..  we need to sort out what’s going on in my body first as indicated by my last PAP.

Turns out one biopsy reveals adenocarcinoma ‘in situ’. Which means the cancer cells haven’t taken hold. Stage 0. Non invasive.

Turns out that now I AM having surgery. So now off to an onco gynecologist I go. That’s this coming Monday.

SEVERAL things run through my head.

Mostly that THANK GOODNESS I pushed. Thank goodness I decided for myself that something else had to be done.

There’s more but the lesson for now is:

Listen. Listen to yourself.

I won’t know for sure until Monday but for now I will consider myself lucky that I had Peach to push me where I needed to go. If it wasn’t for this fibroid, I would not know about what was going on in my cervix. Even with an abnormal PAP.

All I knew was that what WAS going on wasn’t working.

At this point, I’m wanting to sort out these cancer cells. I’m worried that they’re changing. I’m worried that they’re elsewhere. I’ve been having other symptoms. I’m ready to get on with it.

I am fully aware that people have it worse than me. But that doesn’t actually help me, or anyone else in this position. The people I know that had it worse are deceased and I’m sure as shit that they wouldn’t wish ANY type of cancer on anyone. They were brave and smart and had to let go to a horrible disease.

My intention is to do all that I can to help myself – and to remind others that their health is in THEIR control. Do NOT leave it up to anyone else. Go with your gut feeling. Go with what you know. Always.

All the best always,



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