My Radical Hysterectomy

… or some of it, anyway..

Up the stairs to nap. Into bed. Out of bed to pee. Back into bed. Out of bed to pee.. fuck it. I’m going downstairs to write.


On February 14th I had my radical hysterectomy.

I am currently at home recovering. Restlessness just beginning to set in. The magnitude of the surgery settling around me. And the realization that though I’ve had no idea how I would handle all of this.. I’m handling it. I think.

It’s not always easy navigating lost. I’m not always sure I’ve handled things well or even done/said/thought the right things. But I DO know that right now I’m doing my best and done/said/thought the right things for me.

Boundaries have become more clear.

Speaking my heart has become easier (a little).

Letting people love me is kinda nice. Actually, WOW it’s nice.

I’m still in quite a bit of pain from surgery. Here’s an image of what they removed (including some lymph nodes). AN image – not THE image cause Ew.

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Here’s an image of what I look like today with 37 staples in my abdomen. I have no idea how many stitches are inside me.

One of the challenges with a radical hysterectomy is reminding your bladder how to work {or to completely empty in my case}. So, while getting into bed is challenging enough, getting out of bed over and over is a little frustrating to say the least. And of course at not even a week out of surgery AND for the next week, I’m to keep myself from doing too much. I’ve learned that my swelly belly will rage at me when it decides I’ve pushed too far. Hello, Advil and Tylenol.

As I slowly start to feel better AROUND my abdomen, I’m trying to reconnect with friends and family. 30 minute phone calls are tiring still and so I look forward to when I can get out of here for a coffee date and fresh air! Texting isn’t fun because … it’s just not. From posture to lack of emotion/clarity, I tend to keep texts short these days. And I like it.

I have 3 large dogs and while I’m happy to have people visit me it isn’t ideal as my energy is quite limited, I’m {for all intents and purposes} ‘sick’ which my dogs sense and adding the stress of people they never see just doesn’t make any sense as I’m completely unable to manage them right now. Not to mention I’m not walking or feeding them so their routines are off. Yes, they’re being walked and fed – just not by me. 😉 but by the fabulous Steph – http://www.compassionatek9care.com

So, no home visits. Protecting my space. That feels kinda nice. #selfcare

A beautiful side of all this is watching my family and friends show up for me. Offering me good thoughts and asking what they can do to help and respecting that I’m still trying to figure out how to even help myself. Grateful to my core for that.

This post surgery stuff is going to be a process and a learning curve and I’m {mostly} super keen and open to explore! Now that I’m out of the deep end of the pain cave that is…

On that note, I will be coming back to my hysterectomy adventure in future blog posts.

  • I’d love to address pain and pain meds and concerns about them.
  • I’d love to also address some of the side effects {obviously, each person will have their own personal experience} of this surgery that no one seems to talk about. Eg: #pontoons #beestung #linda
  • I wonder why it is, in a city like Calgary, we are still unable to provide enough rooms in hospitals for the people that need them.
  • I could not have had more caring nurses than the ones I had on the gyne/onc floor at Foothills Hospital. #nursesareangels
  • This is a tricky surgery. In that you cannot see the healing happen. You also cannot see the pain inside. When you’re the patient and feeling and looking better each day, it does not necessarily mean your insides are healing at the same pace. And when you’re not the patient, it’s difficult to understand all the SIGNIFICANT internal fluctuations of healing both physically, mentally and emotionally.
  • Going INTO this surgery as fit and healthy as can be can only help post op. Find support. Get that done. For life in general.

My emotions are a little unstable these days, though I think that’s to be expected. My head IS getting more clear every day. I’m tired but can’t sleep. I’m just starting to miss my workouts and routines. Moving around is very challenging. Self injecting blood thinner is getting easier. Physio for my wrist is coming along. And plans to absolutely ABSORB the rest of the year are in the making!

I DO still have a lot to celebrate.. but that’s a future blog post 😉

Cheers.

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XXX

6 comments

  1. You are amazing! I’ve read all your posts and I haven’t wanted to be bothersome. I think of you often and please know that I wish I could help you in some way. I’m rooting for you and sending thoughts of healing and love your way ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so glad to hear you are doing well but clearly you have been through a lot. If you , and your family, want some treats just let me know and I’ll get them to you.

    You have been through a lot so don’t rush the healing. Take your time. Thinking of you all the time my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, my friend. Wise words. I assure you while I’m somewhat impatient, there’s no way I’ll be able to rush anything here and it’s far from over so just trying to ride the wave and rest and observe. 😉
      I so much appreciate you being there for us. 😘

      Like

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