Busy

I’m not sure how……… yeah …. that’s bullshit. I AM sure how I got here.

Life is busy for me. It’s really busy. I don’t get back to text messages as quickly as I’d like. Sometimes not at all. I prefer phone calls these days as it takes much less effort AND it’s a better connection. Coffee dates are rare. I used to walk my dogs every day and these days they’re lucky if it’s every second day…

I had a major surgery early this year and I feel very recovered. I still have health issues though and spend some of my time buying supplements/medications, reading up on my issues, driving to appointments, waiting at appointments ..

I took a job during my recovery which has taken many hours from my week. It was a choice. I wanted this job. Nonetheless it takes my time and attention.

I have 4 children with 3 spring birthdays and various year end functions – graduations, band, dance..

I have a large house with a large yard which was perfect many years ago but it is too much for me to maintain on my own and now that the snow is {thankfully!} gone, the outside maintenance is added to the inside maintenance.

I really could keep going… the point is I know why I’m here. I’ve created much of this for myself. This is where I’ve gotten to in my life. I’m surviving and I DO see a way out {passage of time} but for now I’ve got work to do.

There was a quote I used to really love – ‘build a life you don’t need a vacation from’.

Thanks… at 48, I could have used that advice 40 years ago…

Where I’m at now has me trying to maintain old, valued friendships and celebrate new ones with a schedule hard pressed for time. I’m really finding this challenging. Friendship for me is one of the first places I let go. I do the best I can but I don’t know another way right now.

I’m doing the best I can to take care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I’mย practicing boundaries and defending my own time.

‘You made your bed, you lay in it’ is certainly ringing true for me at this point.

I’m trying to unravel this busy ball of string and it will take some time and patience to do so. I am motivated by the ‘build a life you don’t need a vacation from’ but for now a vacation sounds like a really, REALLY good idea! I sometimes feel like there’s no escape from this life and it’s come to a point that I’m sorta just holding on waiting for time to work it’s magic and curious about what things will look like in 10 years.

I recognize that thinking 10 years ahead takes me out of the NOW but I have to say that I’m kind of okay with that.

My nose is rubbed hard in ‘now’. I get it. I’m doing it. I’m here.

But if being curious about the future helps me with the busy that I’m living today then I’ll take 2 please!

Sometimes there’s just no way out. There’s only through.

So… busy it is.

Sure is nice to check in though! xxx

 

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