I grew up with athletic parents and since I was young I’ve been lucky enough to be exposed to all sorts of sports and athletic endeavours! My brother and I are both blessed with awesome athletic genes. We can do most anything and do it fairly well.

Sport, competition, exertion, fun, strength, speed have all been a part of my existence since I first learned to ice skate at 5 and competed in figure skating at 7yo in Inuvik, NWT.

We had no pools in Inuvik at the time and so I learned how to swim in Winnipeg, Manitoba during visits to my grandma!

Athletics in school and out of school was just something I did. I loved it! and still do.

I’ve been skydiving, rafting, mtn biking, marathon running, soccer, swimming…….

When I got married and moved to California my husband {at that time} and I used to row together, roller blade and even play basketball on our roller blades! We came back to Canada and got into climbing as something to do together.

Moving along, I got into triathlon, yoga, crossfit, scrambling…. Always. Something.

Today, at 48 years old, I’m at a bit of a crossroads.

I’ve had minor injuries alongside my active lifestyle most of which didn’t need much time off and of course being younger and NOT listening to my body… I sure as shit didn’t take time off. Just worked my way through it.

In the last 18 months alone, I’ve broken my big toe on my right foot, grew a fancy ganglion cyst in my left wrist, became anemic, made my Hashimoto’s worse, grew a big fibroid – ‘Peach’, grew an ulcer, grew cancer, had a minor surgery on my wrist, major surgery to remove Peach and the cancer, have developed joint pain and have most recently torn a rotator cuff.

Last week, when I realized there isn’t much my body could do right now, I REALLY thought I would feel sad and for a day I did cry but

What I felt more of was – relief!

That has never happened for me. Relief instead of sadness. I pride myself on what I can do and I love to be an example of fitness and I’m sure I’ve got some {lots of} identity tied up in how I perform and how I look BUT….… I’m tired. My body is tired. And sore. I have inflammation everywhere {it seems} and I just want to, from the inside of my bones, rest.

I’m actually a little choked typing this out.

My body, heart and mind have been so stressed for so long. I have to do something to take better care. Even yoga flow can be {and is for me} a physical stress. Physical stress is the very opposite of what my body needs. Gentle is the word that comes to mind and to heart.

I’m going by feel with this; it’s a brand new place for me. I like to be competitive. I like to go hard from time to time! But I just can’t. And I don’t really want to. For the time being anyway. Nothing is permanent. 😉

My goal is to come back to fitness strong {maybe not the same strong} and with a better understanding about my body and what it needs. I have some goals still and I plan to be able to get after them even in my 60’s!!

And with that, my fingers are starting to ache so I will sign off with this thought…

‘In the waves of change, we find our direction.’

xx